Jul 26, · Critique of Carrie's Essay on Identity or Diversity. Writing about identity or diversity for the Common Application essay presents a writer with specific challenges. In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open Estimated Reading Time: 7 mins Jul 01, · The Diversity Essay exists because colleges want a student body that includes different ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, backgrounds, interests, and so on. The essay asks students to illuminate what sets them apart, so admissions committees see what kind of diverse views and opinions they can bring to the blogger.comted Reading Time: 7 mins A diversity essay is a college admissions essay that revolves around an applicant's background and identity, usually within the context of a particular community. This community can refer to race or ethnicity, income level, neighborhood, school, gender, sexual orientation, etc
The Diversity College Essay: How to Write a Stellar Essay
This example of a college admissions personal essay fits college diversity essay 1 of the current Common Application : college diversity essay students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.
If this sounds like you, then please share your story. Writing about identity or diversity for the Common Application essay presents a writer with specific challenges. In broader terms, however, college diversity essay, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, college diversity essay, and strength of character necessary to be a contributing and successful member of the campus community.
Carrie's essay succeeds on this front. In general, Carrie's title works fine. It clearly captures the subject of the essay — approaching Goth with an open mind. Also, the allusion to John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance" is appropriate given the song's message about acceptance and understanding. It's not a title that is highly original, and it isn't the best hook for grabbing the reader's attention, but it is still a solid title. The best essay titles often strive for clarity, not cleverness.
Carrie takes a risk in her essay. When you read advice about college admissions interviewsyou'll often be told to dress somewhat conservatively, get rid of the pink hair and remove all but the most innocuous piercings.
The danger of looking too far out college diversity essay the norm is that you may encounter an admissions officer who isn't open-minded or who feels disturbed or uncomfortable with your appearance. While you don't want to cater to people's biases, you also college diversity essay want to diminish your chances of getting into college, college diversity essay.
Carrie, however, isn't one to tone down her identity during the admissions process, college diversity essay. Her essay blatantly states "this is who I am," and she makes it the job of the reader to overcome his or her preconceptions. There is a slight danger that she will get a reader who refuses to accept the "Goth" culture Carrie describes, but most readers will love the way Carrie approaches her topic as well as her straight-shooting style. The essay has a level of maturity and self-confidence that the reader will find attractive.
Also, the reader is likely to be impressed by the way that Carrie imagines her audience's reaction. She has clearly encountered prejudice before, and she preempts it when she imagines the admissions folks reading her essay, college diversity essay. The current Common Application essay option 1 is a smart choice for Carrie's topic, for the essay certainly is about a central part of her identity.
Carrie clearly shows how she will add an interesting and desirable element to the campus community. The essay demonstrates that she has thought about identity and diversity, that she is open-minded, and that she has a thing or two to teach others about their preconceptions and biases.
She weaves in enough details about her passions and accomplishments to debunk any knee-jerk assumptions a reader might make about a Goth. The "share your story" essay prompt is wonderfully broad, and it can lead to a range of topics. An essay on one's love of crafts to one's non-traditional home situation can all work with Common Application option 1.
Carrie's essay approaches her topic seriously, but it also has a pleasing smattering of humor. Little phrases like "I don't do sun," and, "a tendency towards sarcasm" capture Carrie's personality in an economical manner that will also get a nice chuckle from her readers. In general, college diversity essay, the essay has a great balance of seriousness and playfulness, of quirkiness and intellect.
The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it is even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger writing.
The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication. If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure. The admissions officers will immediately recognize Carrie as someone who has a mastery of language and is prepared for college-level writing. The length of the essay is right near the word limit, but that's fine, college diversity essay.
Her essay is neither wordy nor repetitive. The essays by Lora and Sophie are both strong, but both could use some cutting and revising to get the length down. Carrie writes economically; every word counts.
Think about the impression you have when you finish reading Carrie's essay. You feel that you have gotten to know her. She is someone with an offbeat appearance, but she is wonderfully comfortable with who she is. The self-confidence and self-awareness demonstrated in the essay will certainly impress her readers. Carrie's essay teaches her reader something, and the mastery of language is remarkable. Admissions officers are likely to finish the essay thinking three things:. In short, Carrie has written a winning Common Application essay.
Carrie comes across as an intelligent and likable woman who will contribute to the campus community in meaningful ways. College diversity essay, her essay gets at the heart of her unique personal story — there's nothing generic about what she has written, so the essay will stand out from the crowd. Share Flipboard Email.
Allen Grove. College Admissions Expert. Allen Grove is an Alfred University College diversity essay professor and a college admissions expert with 20 years of experience helping students transition to college, college diversity essay. our editorial process. College diversity essay Facebook Twitter Twitter. Cite this Article Format. Grove, Allen. College Admissions Personal Essay: "Give Goth a Chance". copy citation. Watch Now: How to Complete a College Essay.
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Jul 26, · Critique of Carrie's Essay on Identity or Diversity. Writing about identity or diversity for the Common Application essay presents a writer with specific challenges. In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open Estimated Reading Time: 7 mins Jul 01, · The Diversity Essay exists because colleges want a student body that includes different ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, backgrounds, interests, and so on. The essay asks students to illuminate what sets them apart, so admissions committees see what kind of diverse views and opinions they can bring to the blogger.comted Reading Time: 7 mins A diversity essay is a college admissions essay that revolves around an applicant's background and identity, usually within the context of a particular community. This community can refer to race or ethnicity, income level, neighborhood, school, gender, sexual orientation, etc
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